Left v. Right (A.k.a. Political Whining)

Shut up, Republicans. Your kind are generally (because hating any group's members as a whole is just like racism) the worst things to be around since malaria-ridden mosquitoes before bug spray. You don't stay true to the conservative ideals you claim to have. You spread lies and rumors about innocent people. You worship loud mouth, bloated idiots, much like the lot of you. You associate yourself with people who preach the importance of decency and political correctness above all other issues, whilst they morally bankrupt everyone they know. You're just all around terrible people, and most of the things you believe are antiquated and harmful. mostly. I'm sure not every single republican is like that.

And you too, Democrats. Some of you are just too...much of hippies. The quintessential right-wing-nightmare kind of leftist. Complete and total socialism will not work. Communism...has obviously been a failure, quit trying. Some of the things you say are so peachy, PC, sugary, and limp-wristed, it makes me want to kill myself for knowing pansies like you are out there trying to run the government. Of course, most Democrats are well-adjusted human beings, that don't give much thought to extremism of any kind.

Point is I hate the stereotypes of both of your sides, and I hate far-_____. Radicals on either side of the political spectrum are...sickening. Ir's all annoying.

There's stuff about each of your sides that I'm not partial to, but that's good; that's healthy. Just get this, already: if you've ever bitched and moaned about "what they did now," just cram it. You both feed off of the crap. You need each other, because you need some faceless entity of everything you're opposed to; you both need something to target all your hate onto within the confines of political correctness. It's just your thing.

And don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about, especially if you're an American citizen.

I'm not saying anybody has to set aside their differences and hold hands and make the world fart rainbows or any of that crap. No, that would be both pointless, and impossible. Just realize that no matter what slight movement or whatever part of a word a person of either party says, the opposing members will twist it until they find some fault with it. No matter. What. Just learn to love it!

Embrace the fact that no matter where you'll stand, you can always project your hate onto somebody else's political beliefs as a whole.

As for us libertarians...well, when they get popular in the top levels of government, we'll see who we pin all the hate one, and I'll still say the same thing.

People [who disrespect the troops]

Why the brackets? Because it could either way. Geez, don't you know how those work? I insult your general ignorance.

As if it wasn't enough that people are the worst, period, some of them have to go and branch off into sub-categories of things that deserve extra hatred. In this post, I'm talking about the people who "diss" (I'm not writing "disrespect" every time, get bent) the military. (Not that I like you more for doing any of the following anyway, but...) You can hate the government. You can hate the president himself. You can hate the countless blowhard politicians who are more obsessed with bickering over which camp is right rather than showing concern for actual human lives (actually, that one's okay). You can hate the cause itself. You can hate the war itself. But there's no way in hell I'm going to let you hate our armed forces. (Except the coast Guard, since they should just be one of the uniformed services and not one of the armed forces.)

See, here's the thing: without men willing to put their lives on the line fr something as trivial as ideology, this nation would just be southern Canada. A little back story:

We were once just a humble set of thirteen colonies that were controlled by Great Britain. One day, we got fed up with their shit, and a bunch of awesome-smart, deist, presumably beef jerky eating, bad asses wrote up our Declaration of Independence. This note was basically one big "fuck you, we're leaving" to the King of England. The Revolutionary War ensued because of this, and because of our Continental Army, and our awesome guerilla soldiers, we were able to retain our independence, and go on to create the Constitution (a little more on it's qualities of awesomeness below). We wouldn't even be a nation without our fighting men (and supposedly women, but I'm still skeptical about the truth of this).

I'm not even going to bother listing off every single military engagement henceforth, (though I would enjoy that), because it ultimately boils down one thing: WITHOUT OUR TROOPS, YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO SHIT.

The reason why we get to continue to be so awesome is because nobody has the balls to invade us (yet), due to us having the single most powerful military force in the history of mankind. Not everybody exactly agrees with us flaunting democracy, capitalism, liberty, and common sense. The only reason we can continue to follow the greatest document ever drafted, which all countries followed suit and tried to copy later on to get their shit together, the U.S. Constitution, is because the only thing standing in between that and a bloodthirsty enemy is the U.S. military. Men and women die just to uphold those simple, yet powerful, values, and to keep your sorry ass out of trouble.

And what's the Bill of Rights? The first ten amendments of the Constitution. What do we all love, and sometimes to take for granted, so much about the Bill of Rights? The fact that it guarantees us our freedom to say whatever the hell we want, no matter how stupid it may be.

So when those select few assholes sit around, contributing nothing of worth to society, and badmouth the troops, it really gets my blood boiling. There's nothing to do but snap your head towards their general direction, go berserk, and put their stupid ass in a coma. You can't just sit there and diss the people that die on a daily basis just so you can say whatever stupid bullshit you want about this.

You can hate everything else about the war, but when you spit in the face of the soldier himself, you can just get the fuck out of my country.

Preferably, you should go to the PRC (China) after that, and just learn how much you should appreciate all the little things that you take for granted, like the ability to say how much you irrationally hate everything, an uncensored internet, and the opportunity to spawn as many mini-dipshits as you want (More on why this shouldn't happen next). Anyone else with me on this?

Magazine vs. Clip

As you may gradually learn about me, I love guns. Granted I've never owned one or operated anything besides a shotgun, but I still know a hell of a lot about them.

And in today's modern world, "knowing a hell of a lot" about them could be counted as just one piece of common knowledge: it is a MAGAZINE, not a CLIP.

It doesn't matter how much time will pass since post-WWII (when authority settled on the name), people are still going to call it a clip.

"BUT AKoYo IT'S JUST A WERD, WHO CARE?" A great point that I've heard from many a dipshit. Except it's not. It's just a word, huh? Well you know what else it is? An insult. It's an insult to people with real knowledge on the subject. And by "real knowledge" I mean "doesn't base everything they know about guns from videogames". That's another thing I hate. this problem perpetuates because video game makers always misuse the term in FPS's, thus furthering people's stupidity. Anyway, it's an insult to call it a clip. A common analogy is "that it's like saying socks when you mean boots". No, not good enough. It's like saying "Negro" when all you mean is "black people". What, I shouldn't have said that? Well, back atcha.

"BUT AH LIK TEH WAY IT SOUNDZ, TAHTS Y I SAY IT". That's just plain wrong. Can I refer to my toaster as my "bread-crisper" because it sounds cooler? Can I call my cat the "four legs" because that's what it has? Can I call you a "little bitch" because...oh, wait, that's accurate. Never mind.

"BUT IS CALED TAHT CUZ OF TEH SOUND IT MAIKS GOIN INTO TEH GUN". No, NO IT'S NOT. I mean, calling it that because that's the sound...what? So, now everything has to be named as an onomatopoeia? Do I call my toast "Kralch" because of the approximate sound it makes when I butter it? Do you call the gun itself a "BANG"? Do you call a TV a "Welcome to the Home Shopping Network, you lonely miserable bastard"? Well...that would just be entertaining. But, really, nobody's this stupid.

"SO WAHTS TEH BIG DEEL WIT CALING IT TAHT, ANYWAY?" Because a clip and a magazine are NOT THE SAME THING. The terms are NOT interchangeable. A magazine is the part of the gun that houses the ammunition so it can be fed into the breech somehow, and ultimately be fired. For this purpose, it's spring loaded to make sure there's a round at the top of the magazine when it's still in there. A clip is a speedloading device that quickly puts ammunition into a magazine. It doesn't even (usually) stay in the magazine. So you're not even referring to the same thing if you call it a clip. I don't call my pants cheese, I don't call my curtains toilets, and I don't refer to that armchair as my ISP.

So don't continue to call it a "clip". It just makes you sound like the unintelligent, bumbling, lumbering, mouth breathing, neanderthal that you are.

Oh, and you know what's really unfair? How people who own handguns are allowed to call it a clip. NO, YOU SHOULDN'T. You should be launched into a brick wall, and then I'll take your gun, because why should your dumbass get to own a gun, and not me, when you don't even know what the hell you're talking about? Next person that calls THEIR magazine a clip, I'm going to beat them with it. Nothing a concussion can't fix.

Man, if I was president, there would labor camps and brainwashing seminars to address this very issue. Nobody would get it wrong, and if they did, TOO BAD, slave labor for life. You'll be working alongside the prison inmates. Using convicts for cheap labor...the one thing the Soviets got right. Why don't we put our bad guys to work? They're not good for anything else, and nobody wants them, make them build that new railroad system this country desperately needs.

You see that? If I was in charge, I would have already solved about 17% of the nations problems, in less than 20 minutes, no less. God, I hate humans.